Legal Basics: Parental Authority, Custody and Care

A separation or divorce turns your whole life upside down. Amidst grief, anger, uncertainty and organisational chaos, one question keeps coming up: What will happen to my child's care?

If you are in this situation right now, we want to tell you one thing: you are not alone. In Switzerland, nearly every second marriage ends in divorce, and in many of these families there are children who need care — in daycare, with a childminder, in a playgroup. The good news: external care can be an anchor of stability for your child precisely during a time of change.

This guide takes you step by step through everything you need to know about childcare during separation and divorce: from the legal basics to practical organisation and the emotional side — for you and your child.

Legal Basics: Parental Authority, Custody and Care

Before we get to daycare places and care models, you need to know three terms that mean different things in Switzerland — even though they are often mixed up in everyday life.

Joint Parental Authority as the Standard

Since 1 July 2014, joint parental authority has been the standard in Switzerland — regardless of whether the parents are married or not. This was a fundamental change. Previously, with unmarried couples, the mother automatically received sole parental authority.

What does parental authority mean in practice? Both parents jointly decide on important life matters for the child:

• Choice of school and education
• Religious upbringing
• Medical decisions (operations, therapies)
• The child's place of residence (particularly relocations)
• Change of name

Important: Sole parental authority is only ordered in exceptional cases — when the child's welfare is seriously at risk. A conflict between the parents alone is not sufficient.

Parental Authority vs. Custody vs. Care Shares

These three terms are often confused but refer to quite different things:

Term	Meaning	Example
Parental authority	Right and duty to make important decisions for the child	School choice, medical procedures, daycare registration
Custody	Who is responsible for daily care and upbringing?	Who does the child live with? Who makes breakfast, puts them to bed?
Care shares	The specific time allocation between parents	50/50, 60/40, every other weekend

Why does this matter for daycare? Because parental authority determines who can register and deregister the child, while custody determines who organises daily life — including drop-off and pick-up. The care shares in turn determine on which days which parent is responsible.

What Applies to Unmarried Couples?

For unmarried couples too, joint parental authority has applied since 2014 — provided it was declared at birth (at the civil registry office) or subsequently. In principle, nothing changes upon separation. However, custody and care shares must be newly arranged, either by mutual agreement or through the KESB (Child and Adult Protection Authority).

Practical Daycare Questions During a Separation

Now it gets concrete. The legal basics are important, but in everyday life very practical questions arise. Here are the most important ones:

Who Can Register and Deregister the Child?

With joint parental authority: Both parents must consent to a daycare registration. The daycare cannot simply ignore one parent. In practice, this means:

• Registration: Both parents should sign the care contract or at least consent in writing.
• Deregistration: Terminating the daycare place also requires the consent of both parents.
• Changing daycare: If one parent wants to move the child to a different daycare, the other must consent.

Tip: Inform the daycare early about the separation and that both parents must be involved in all decisions. Most daycares are familiar with this situation and handle it professionally.

Who Pays for Daycare?

This is often the biggest point of contention. In principle:

• Joint parental authority: Both parents bear the costs together — proportional to their income.
• Care maintenance: Since 2017, Switzerland has introduced care maintenance, which covers the costs of the caregiving parent (not just external care).
• Daycare costs in maintenance: As a rule, daycare costs are regulated as part of child maintenance or separately.

Practical suggestion for cost sharing:

Model	Description
Proportional to income	Parent A earns 60%, so A pays 60% of the daycare costs
Half and half	With similar incomes: 50/50 split
Included in maintenance	Daycare costs are integrated into the maintenance payment
Direct assumption	Each parent pays for the daycare days when they have the child

Ideally, the cost sharing is recorded in writing in a separation agreement or in the divorce decree — this avoids later disputes.

Drop-off and Pick-up with Shared Care

When both parents care for the child (alternating model), it must be clearly agreed who drops off and picks up on which day. The daycare needs clarity here:

• Submit a weekly schedule: Create a fixed weekly schedule and give it to the daycare. Example: Monday and Tuesday, Mum drops off/picks up; Wednesday to Friday, Dad.
• Pick-up authorisations: Both parents and persons named by them (grandparents, new partners) should be registered as authorised to pick up.
• Communicate changes: If the schedule changes, the daycare must be informed — ideally in writing.

Communication with the Daycare

One of the most common mistakes: one parent receives information from the daycare, the other doesn't. This leads to frustration and conflicts.

How to do it better:

• Ask the daycare to send all information to both parents (parent letters, invitations, invoices).
• Both parents should be registered as contact persons with email and phone number.
• For parent meetings: either attend together or arrange separate appointments.
• Use a shared app or document for daycare-related information (pick-up days, illnesses, events).

What If Parents Cannot Agree on the Choice of Daycare?

Joint parental authority means: both must agree. But what if you want a different daycare from your ex-partner?

1. Seek dialogue: Try to present your reasons objectively — proximity to home, pedagogical concept, costs.
2. Mediation: If you cannot agree, family mediation can help.
3. KESB or court: As a last resort, the KESB or the court can decide. The child's welfare is always the central consideration.

-> Guide: Daycare, Playgroup or Childminder? The Big Comparison

Child Maintenance and Care Costs

Money is almost always a sensitive topic in separations. There have been important changes to child maintenance in recent years.

What Does Child Maintenance Include?

Child maintenance in Switzerland consists of three components:

1. Cash maintenance: Direct costs of the child (food, clothing, school materials, health insurance, daycare costs)
2. Care maintenance: Since 1 January 2017 — covers the living costs of the caregiving parent who cannot work (fully) due to childcare
3. In-kind maintenance: Care, upbringing and nurturing by the caregiving parent

Daycare costs in cash maintenance: The actual daycare costs are usually attributed to cash maintenance. This means: the parent liable for maintenance contributes to the care costs — proportional to income.

Can the Caregiving Parent Choose an Expensive Daycare?

In principle yes, but with limitations:

• The costs must be reasonable — the other parent cannot be expected to pay for a luxury option.
• The decisive factors are the family's standard of living before the separation and the financial capacity of both parents.
• In case of disagreement, the court can assess the reasonableness.

Practical tip: Agree on a budget for childcare as early as possible. This saves you lengthy and expensive court proceedings.

Care Maintenance — An Important Achievement

Since 2017, unmarried caregiving parents also have the right to care maintenance. Previously, this entitlement existed only for married couples (as part of post-marital maintenance). Care maintenance is intended to ensure that the parent who primarily cares for the child is financially secure — even if he or she can work less because of the care responsibilities.

How is it calculated? The courts increasingly follow a graduated model: the older the child, the higher the expected employment rate of the caregiving parent and the lower the care maintenance.

The Child at the Centre: Stability in Uncertain Times

With all the legal and financial questions, one thing must not be forgotten: how does your child experience the separation? Children sense changes intensely, even when they are still small.

Why Stability and Routine Are So Important Now

Children need predictability. In a phase when much is changing at home — one parent moves out, daily routines are disrupted, the mood is tense — daycare can be a lifesaving anchor.

• Consistent daily structure: At daycare, everything stays the same — the rituals, the playmates, the carers.
• Stable reference persons: The familiar carer is an emotional anchor point when there is uncertainty at home.
• Social contact: Playing with other children provides distraction and normality.
• Unencumbered space: At daycare, the separation is not discussed — the child is simply allowed to be a child.

Good to know: Many daycare professionals are trained in handling separation situations. Don't hesitate to confide in your child's key carer — she or he can provide targeted support for your child.

Warning Signs: What to Watch For

Children process separations differently. Some show hardly any reaction, others react strongly. Be alert to:

• Developmental regression: Bedwetting again, thumb-sucking, baby talk
• Sleep disturbances: Nightmares, difficulty falling asleep, early waking
• Behavioural changes: Aggression, extreme clinginess, withdrawal
• Physical symptoms: Stomach aches, headaches, loss of appetite
• Separation anxiety: Crying at daycare drop-off (even if it was fine before)

What to do? Talk to the daycare, your paediatrician and possibly a specialist (child psychologist). Such reactions are normal and usually temporary — but your child needs especially much attention and patience right now.

-> Guide: Daycare Settling In — How to Make the Start a Success

Care Models That Work in Practice

There are various models for how you can divide the care. Which one is right depends on your life situation, the child's age and your geographical proximity.

Alternating Custody (Shared Residence Model)

In the shared residence model, the child lives alternately with both parents. The most common variants:

Variant	Description	Daycare Organisation
Weekly	One week with Mum, one with Dad	Daycare stays the same; the switch happens at the weekend
By day (e.g. 2-2-3)	Mon/Tue with Mum, Wed/Thu with Dad, Fri-Sun alternating	Daycare must know who drops off/picks up on which day
60/40	3 days with one, 4 with the other parent	Daycare days can be assigned permanently

Prerequisites for a successful shared residence model:

• Both parents live nearby (ideally in the same neighbourhood)
• Good communication and willingness to cooperate
• Both homes are set up for children
• The child copes with the changes (age-dependent)

Caution with young children: For babies and toddlers under about 3 years, many professionals recommend a model with one clear primary reference person. Frequent changes can be overwhelming at this age. It is best to discuss this with a professional.

One Household as Home Base

In the more traditional model, the child lives primarily with one parent and visits the other regularly:

• Typical: Child lives with Mum, every other weekend and one evening/afternoon per week with Dad (or vice versa)
• Daycare organisation: Simpler, as one parent coordinates daily life
• Disadvantage: The other parent may feel less involved

How Does Daycare Fit into the Different Models?

Regardless of the care model: Daycare should be a fixed, reliable point in the weekly schedule. Some tips:

• Keep daycare days as consistent as possible — even when the parent changeover varies.
• Avoid bringing the child to daycare for the first time on a changeover day (Monday after Dad's weekend) — this can trigger double separation distress.
• Give the daycare a clear, up-to-date weekly schedule so there are no misunderstandings.
• Make sure both parents receive all daycare information — newsletters, photos, development meetings.

Mediation and Conflict Resolution

Things cannot always be settled peacefully. When positions are entrenched, there are various contact points in Switzerland.

Family Mediation

A mediator helps you find solutions together — without going to court. This is faster, cheaper and usually better for the child.

What is discussed in mediation?

• Care allocation and weekly schedule
• Financial arrangements (maintenance, daycare costs)
• Communication rules between parents
• Public holidays, vacations, special occasions

Where can you find family mediation?

• Swiss Mediation Association (SDM-FSM): Mediator search on their website
• Many cantons offer free or reduced-cost counselling through family advisory centres

The Role of the KESB

The Child and Adult Protection Authority (KESB) becomes involved when:

• Parents cannot agree on care arrangements
• The child's welfare is at risk
• A parent refuses contact with the child
• Domestic violence is present

The KESB can issue orders, establish deputyships and, in extreme cases, adjust parental authority. It always acts in the child's interest.

When Professional Help Makes Sense

Don't hesitate to seek support. Professional help is not a sign of weakness but of responsibility:

• Parenting counselling: For questions about parenting during separation
• Child psychologist: If your child shows behavioural issues
• Legal advice: For questions about maintenance, parental authority and visitation rights
• Couples/separation counselling: Even when the relationship is over, counselling can help clarify the parenting level

Pro Juventute parenting counselling: Phone 147 (for children and young people) or 058 261 61 61 (for parents). Free, anonymous, around the clock.

Special Situations

Some separations bring additional challenges. Here are some special constellations:

Relocation to Another Canton

When one parent moves to another canton, this has direct implications for daycare:

• New location = new daycare? Not necessarily, but often practically necessary, especially with greater distances.
• Subsidies: The entitlement to subsidised places depends on the child's place of residence. A move can mean: new municipality, new subsidy system, new application.
• Consent required: With joint parental authority, the other parent must consent to a relocation if it significantly changes the care situation.

Important: Since 2017, one parent must inform the other in good time about a planned relocation. If the other does not consent, the KESB or the court decides.

International Constellations

When one parent lives abroad or wishes to move there:

• Hague Convention on International Child Abduction: Protects against unilateral removal of the child abroad.
• Consent obligation: For the child's stays abroad, both parents' consent is required with joint parental authority.
• Daycare organisation: Often only relevant for the parent living in Switzerland — the daycare place runs through the primary caregiving parent domestically.
• Contact point: Central Authority for International Child Abduction at the Federal Office of Justice.

Domestic Violence: Protection Comes First

When violence is involved, different rules apply:

• Immediate measures: Women's shelter, police (117), victim support centre
• Visitation rights: Can be restricted or supervised (accompanied visitation)
• Daycare safety: Inform the daycare about a risk situation. The daycare can note that a specific parent is not allowed to pick up the child.
• KESB: Can order protective measures for the child

Die Dargebotene Hand (crisis hotline): 143 — around the clock, anonymous, free. Victim support Switzerland: opferhilfe-schweiz.ch

Emotional Support for You as a Parent

Between the lawyer, the daycare parent evening and the moving boxes, one thing is often forgotten: yourself. A separation is one of the greatest burdens a person can experience. And at the same time, you need to be there for your child. That is enormous.

Guilt About External Care

Many separated parents feel guilty when they take their child to daycare — "I'm already a single parent, and on top of that I'm away all the time." This feeling is understandable, but:

• Daycare is not abandonment. Your child benefits from social contacts, structure and professional support.
• You need time for yourself. Whether for work, recovery or simply to breathe — that is not a luxury but a necessity.
• A balanced parent is a better parent. When you take care of yourself, you have more energy for your child.

Self-Care Is Not Selfishness

Especially now, it is important to look after yourself:

• Talk about your feelings — with friends, family or a professional.
• Maintain your own routines — sports, hobbies, social contacts.
• Accept help. If the neighbour offers to pick up your child from daycare — say yes.
• Lower your standards. Not everything has to be perfect. Frozen pizza and unironed laundry are perfectly fine.
• Seek professional support when the burden becomes too great. Burnout and depression are not uncommon among separating parents.

Building a Network

You don't have to manage this alone. Build yourself a support network:

• Family and friends: For childcare in emergencies, emotional support, practical help
• Other separated parents: In self-help groups or online forums (e.g. at Pro Juventute)
• The daycare itself: Many daycares offer parent groups or facilitate contacts with other families

-> Guide: Single Parenting — Organising Childcare

Checklist: 10 Things to Arrange for Childcare During and After a Separation

• Clarify parental authority: Is there joint parental authority? If not: make the declaration at the civil registry office.
• Establish custody and care shares: By mutual agreement or with the support of mediation or the KESB.
• Inform the daycare about the separation: Register both parents as contact persons. Submit the drop-off and pick-up schedule.
• Arrange financing: Include daycare costs in the maintenance agreement. Who pays how much?
• Reapply for subsidies: When the income situation changes, entitlements may change. Request a new calculation from the municipality.
• Create a weekly schedule: Set fixed days for each parent. Share the schedule with the daycare and all involved.
• Agree on communication rules: How is daycare information shared? Who attends parent meetings?
• Update emergency contacts: Register both parents and other authorised persons at the daycare.
• Check tax deductions: Who can deduct the daycare costs in their tax return? Collect receipts.
• Observe your child: Watch for behavioural changes. If needed, involve a professional (paediatrician, child psychologist).

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Can one parent remove the child from daycare without the other's consent? With joint parental authority, both parents can in principle pick up the child — unless there is a court order restricting this. However, a unilateral deregistration from daycare is not permissible. Inform the daycare if there is a pick-up restriction for one parent.

Must the daycare keep the place during a separation? Yes, a separation is not grounds for termination by the daycare. Your care contract remains in force. However, if the care days need to change, this must be agreed with the daycare — depending on availability.

What happens to the subsidised daycare place when my income changes? A separation often changes the financial situation. Report the change to your municipality and request a recalculation. In many cases, after a separation you are entitled to higher subsidies because the household income decreases.

From what age can children cope with the shared residence model? There is no fixed age limit. Professionals recommend that babies and toddlers under 2–3 years ideally have one main care location. From preschool age (around 4–5 years), the shared residence model works well for most children — provided the parents cooperate and the transitions are well organised. The individual child is always the decisive factor.

Can I deduct the daycare costs from tax even if my ex-partner pays them? No. You can only deduct care costs that you have actually paid yourself. If your ex-partner pays the daycare costs as part of maintenance, he or she can claim the deduction. With shared costs, each can deduct their own share. Receipts must be kept.

Further Guides and Resources

Our Guides

• Parental Authority, Custody and Care Shares — The Terms Simply Explained
• Single Parenting: Organising Childcare
• Work-Life Balance: Models, Tips and Rights
• Daycare Settling In: How to Make the Start a Success
• Daycare Costs in Switzerland: What You Really Pay

External Contact Points

• Pro Juventute parenting counselling: 058 261 61 61 (Mon–Fri, free) — for all questions about parenting and family crises
• Counselling hotline 147: For children and young people, around the clock, free and anonymous
• Die Dargebotene Hand: 143 — around the clock, for adults in crisis situations
• Swiss Mediation Association (SDM-FSM): Mediator search for family mediation
• KESB (Child and Adult Protection Authority): Responsible for your place of residence, addresses on your municipality's website
• Victim Support Switzerland: For domestic violence — opferhilfe-schweiz.ch
• Association for Children's Legal Representation Switzerland: Represents children's rights in separation proceedings

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A separation is painful — but it doesn't have to be to your child's detriment. With clear agreements, good communication and a stable care arrangement, you can be a good team for your child as parents despite the separation. And don't forget: it's okay to ask for help.

Sources: Swiss Civil Code (ZGB), Federal Office of Justice, kibesuisse, Pro Juventute, SDM-FSM. Last updated: February 2026.